It isn't always easy for partners to see abuse coming. Yet, there are often behaviors and attitudes that can make potential violence easier to spot.
  • Does your partner insist you're the only one who understands him, act
    as if his whole world depends on your love; show excessive jealousy, discourage you from seeing family and friends or put you down in public?
  • Do you feel like you can't do anything right, no matter how hard you try?
  • Do you ever feel afraid for yourself or your children?
  • Do you feel your thoughts, opinions and feelings don't matter in your own home?
  • Does your partner brag about using violence to settle conflicts and/or have a history of using violence?
  • Does your partner check up on you, need to know where you are all the time, make all the decisions and/or makes fun of your opinion and thoughts?
  • Do you worry a lot about how your partner will react to things you say or do?
  • Has your partner hit, pushed, choked, restrained, kicked or physically intimidated you?
  • If you are an immigrant, has your partner threatened or tried to turn you in to authorities and get you deported?
  • Does your partner use drugs or alcohol and/or pressures you to take them?

If the answer is "yes" to any of these questions, you may want to share this with family and friends who you feel will understand and support you. You may also want to call a domestic violence hotline or seek supportive counseling to get more information and support while you think through what is happening in your relationship.

Just remember, you do not deserve to be hurt in your relationship.

There are others who might be helpful to you. Think about whom you feel safe talking with about what you are experiencing:

  • family members
  • teacher or school counselor
  • friends
  • neighbors or others in your community
  • priest, minister, rabbi or spiritual leader
  • doctor or nurse
  • police officer
  • Victim Witness Advocates in district court

If you need help now call the police at 9-1-1 or SafeLink at 1-877-785-2020.

This information is provided by the Department of Children and Families.