HOW CAN I RECOGNIZE ABUSE?

It is not surprising that many people do not recognize when they are in an abusive relationship. The tactics used by abusers can be subtle and may not require physical abuse to maintain control over their victims. Abuse comes in many forms from physical, emotional, economic and/or sexual. The following list provides examples of abusive behaviors:

Does he/she?

Check MarkMonitor your phone calls? Follow you?
Check MarkContinuously harass you at work either by telephone fax or e-mail?
Check MarkTake your money, withhold money, make you ask for money, or make you account for the money you spend?
Check MarkHit, slap, punch, bite, kick, pull your hair, or spit on you?
Check MarkControl who you see for friends, family or co-workers…. when and where?
Check MarkThreaten to hurt you, your family members or pets?
Check MarkThreaten to take the children from you?
Check MarkThreaten to expose that you are gay to family members, your boss, or the community?
Check MarkDestroy those possessions and property which he/she knows you treasure?
Check MarkPressure you into dropping charges or vacate the restraining order?
Check MarkTell you that they can't live without you or that you will never belong to anyone else?
Check MarkMake comments intended to degrade you by comparing you with others/ex-partners?
Check MarkTell you what you can and cannot wear?
Check MarkDrive recklessly with you and/or your children in the car during or after an argument?
Check MarkBlock your exit during an argument?
Check MarkThreaten that if you file charges he/she may lose their job which will ultimately effect insurance and child support payments?
Check MarkMake non-verbal gestures intended to intimidate you? (i.e. place hands around their neck indicating if you do not comply they will choke you)
Check MarkExpose you to sexually transmitted diseases so you will be considered "damaged goods?"
Check MarkForce you to perform sexual acts against your will?
Check MarkIf he is in counseling, does he use that against you in order to keep you in the relationship?

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