HOW CAN I RECOGNIZE ABUSE?
It is not surprising that many people do not recognize when they are in an abusive relationship. The tactics used by abusers can be subtle and may not require physical abuse to maintain control over their victims. Abuse comes in many forms from pysical, emotional, economic and/or sexual. The following list provides examples of abusive behaviors:
Does he/she?
 | Monitor your phone calls? Follow you? |
| | Continuously harass you at work either by telephone fax or e-mail? |
| | Take your money, withhold money, make you ask for money, or make you account for the money you spend? |
| | Hit, slap, punch, bite, kick, pull your hair, or spit on you? |
| | Control who you see for friends, family or co-workers…. when and where? |
| | Threaten to hurt you, your family members or pets? |
| | Threaten to take the children from you? |
| | Threaten to expose that you are gay to family members, your boss, or the community? |
| | Destroy those possessions and property which he/she knows you treasure? |
| | Pressure you into dropping charges or vacate the restraining order? |
| | Tell you that they can't live without you or that you will never belong to anyone else? |
| | Make comments intended to degrade you by comparing you with others/ex-partners? |
| | Tell you what you can and cannot wear? |
| | Drive recklessly with you and/or your children in the car during or after an argument? |
| | Block your exit during an argument? |
| | Threaten that if you file charges he/she may lose their job which will ultimately effect insurance and child support payments? |
| | Make non-verbal gestures intended to intimidate you? (i.e. place hands around their neck indicating if you do not comply they will choke you) |
| | Expose you to sexually transmitted diseases so you will be considered "damaged goods?" |
| | Force you to perform sexual acts against your will? |
| | If he is in counseling, does he use that against you in order to keep you in the relationship? |
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