Guideline 12:01
The risk of harm and potential for continuing abuse through the child(ren) must be considered when making parenting time orders.
Commentary
Faced with evidence of abuse between partners, entering an abuse prevention order requiring the defendant to stay away from the plaintiff is reasonably straightforward. When children are involved the proceeding becomes much more complicated. Determining whether or not a parent should have access to or custody of their child(ren) involves complex considerations. The “Supervised Visitation Risk Assessment for Judges” developed by the Probate and Family Court presents a protocol for the court to use to assess the safety needs of children and families and appropriate parental access orders in cases where the parents are, or have been, involved in intimate partner abuse.
In crafting orders, the court should conduct a safety assessment of the family unit. Whenever possible, orders should be crafted to protect the emotional and physical well-being of the child(ren) and the non-abusing parent, while preserving both parent-child relationships.
The following factors are among those to consider:
General Factors to Consider:
1. About the nature of the abuse
- What is the nature of the abuse?
- Was this an isolated incident?
- Is there a history of controlling or abusive behavior, including emotional abuse, threats, and/or intimidation as well as physical abuse?
- Does the history suggest a pattern of controlling or abusive behavior towards prior partner(s)?
- What is the frequency? What is the most recent episode?
- What is the most severe incident?
2. About the child(ren)
- Has/have the child(ren) witnessed, heard, seen, or been exposed to the violence or its aftermath?
- Has/have the child(ren) been used to exert control over the plaintiff?
- Has/have the child(ren) been hurt or neglected?
- Is the Department of Children and Families (DCF) involved with the family? If so, for what reason? Was a report of abuse and/or neglect supported? Abuse and/or neglect by which parent?
3. About the parent who has been abusive
- Is that parent claiming to be the victim?
- Is that parent misusing systems like DCF, the police, or the courts to control or have contact with the parent who has been abused?
- Does that parent have a history of abuse prevention orders, criminal charges or convictions that suggest violent behavior?
- Is there evidence that that parent has not been compliant with court orders?
4. About the parent who has been abused
- Is that parent currently safe?
- Has that parent sustained injuries?
- Can that parent separate their needs from those of the child(ren)?
- Is there a history of prior victimization, mental illness, substance use disorder?
- What is that parent’s expressed level of fear?
Factors to consider regarding each parent:
1. Takes responsibility for the situation
A parent who is able to acknowledge their part in a situation is more likely to be able to consider the child(ren)’s experience(s) than a parent who projects blame onto others. Of greatest concern is a parent who believes that the child is responsible for the current conflict. (This factor should not be read to mean that a victim of domestic violence should take responsibility for the abuser’s behavior.)
2. Awareness of the impact of the negative behavior on the child(ren)
Unfortunately, many parents have difficulty imagining that their child(ren)’s experience(s) may be different than their own. Parents who cannot empathize with their child(ren), that is, cannot see the world through their eyes, are less likely to be aware of their child(ren)’s needs.
3. Other factors affecting parental capacity
If, in addition to the allegations of abuse, a parent who appears to have a substance use disorder, a major mental illness or limited parenting experience may present additional safety risks to the child(ren). A judge should inquire about any current treatment programs or other intervention currently in place that are addressing these issues.
Recognizing Patterns of Abuse1
Safe parenting time is more likely to occur when the order takes into account the specific patterns of domestic violence in the family. The following describe some of the different patterns of domestic violence and some of the considerations to take into account when ordering parenting time in these circumstances. Keep in mind that most families will not “fit” precisely only one of the following patterns, but it is important to tailor custody and parenting time orders that best meet the relevant safety needs.
Chronic pervasive control reinforced by severe violence
Chronic pervasive control reinforced by severe violence is usually characterized by physical abuse that is intermittent or chronic over the course of the relationship or marriage. It is often associated with a more pervasive pattern of psychological and economic coercion and isolation, as well as more severe forms of violent acts. The prognosis for ceasing this pattern of violence is poor, even upon separation of the partners. Consideration should be given to a very strong response to any evidence of abuse prevention order violations, including referral for psychological evaluation and to intimate partner abuse education programs. Consideration should be given to suspension of contact with children, or limiting contact to professionally supervised settings. Children will often exhibit signs of disturbed behavior. Exposure to the perpetrator may cause the child(ren) to be re-traumatized and contact should be suspended until they feel, and are, safe.
Violence by a parent who appears to have impaired or distorted thinking
Illnesses such as psychosis or paranoia may create distorted or delusional thinking about the other person. In these cases, the parent who has been abusive may also experience serious bouts of depression with homicidal or suicidal thoughts. This may result in attempts or threats to harm self or others which may be very traumatic to the child(ren). It is difficult to predict what the prognosis is for cessation of the violence until there has been an adequate psychological evaluation of the parent who has been abusive. Consider referral of the parent who has been abusive for psychological evaluation to answer the specific question of the relationship of the possible mental illness to the violence in the relationship. Children may have been exposed to any number of violent incidents associated with the mental illness of the parent who has been abusive. To promote the safety of the child(ren), both physically and emotionally, consider suspension of parenting time pending completion of a psychiatric or psychological assessment, particularly in cases where the parent who has been abusive appears: (a) obsessed with the parent who has been abused, (b) paranoid or delusional, or (c) suicidal or homicidal.
Aggression and intimidation during arguments
The next pattern is one that escalates until the more aggressive partner asserts control during disputes, either by physical intimidation or assault. These incidents may arise from mutual provocation that escalates until the more aggressive partner causes injury. It is not associated with brutal beatings, marital rape, sadistic infliction of pain or a pervasive pattern of coercion and control over the parent has been abused. The prognosis for the cessation of the violence between these parties may be good once the partners are physically separated. However, some parents who have been abusive will require a clear signal that violations of an abuse prevention order will result in arrest. Children may have been exposed to a number of violent incidents in the course of the relationship of the adults. Violence is often the primary method of dispute resolution within the family. Children are not ordinarily at risk except at points of potential contact of the parents, such as at parenting time exchanges. Children may need their parenting time exchanges supervised or structured for a time to feel safe. Evaluation of the child(ren)’s functioning should be considered.
Isolated incidents during relationship strain
In cases where the violence is restricted to isolated acts caused by separation, the onset and incidents of violence are substantially limited to periods of marital strain or transitions associated with the separation and divorce. This pattern is distinguished by uncharacteristic violent behavior. Violence tends to decrease or cease once the immediate strains associated with divorce and custody disputes settle. Despite these circumstances, children living in the home during these incidents may show signs of trauma. Intervention of a child therapist and/or parental education may be appropriate.
Parenting Support Resources
Two Families Now
"Two Families Now" is the Court approved co-parenting education course for unmarried and married parents appearing before the Probate and Family Court. The "Two Families Now" course is a 4-hour, online, co-parenting course that parents may take at their own pace, using a computer, tablet, or smart phone.
Pursuant to Probate and Family Court Standing Order 3-23, unmarried and married parents who are party to complaints involving divorce, separate support, establishing parentage, custody, support, and parenting time, which were filed on or after November 1, 2023, are ordered to attend the “Two Families Now” co-parenting education course.
The course costs $49.00 per parent, unless the fee is waived following a request for waiver based on indigency. Attendance is mandatory unless waived by the Court.
Parent Coordinators
Parent coordination is a child-focused process in which both parents work with a neutral parenting coordinator (usually an attorney or a psychotherapist) in an effort to reduce or eliminate the effects of conflict on the child(ren) involved in a parenting plan. In 2014, the Supreme Judicial Court restricted court appointment of parenting coordinators if the order required a parent to pay for such services without that parent’s consent. Bower v. Bournay-Bower, 469 Mass. 690 (2014). This restriction remains in effect. In July 2017, the Probate and Family Court issued a Standing Order consistent with this ruling and added additional requirements relating to the appointment of Parenting Coordinators in the Probate and Family Court. See Standing Order 1-17.
Subsection 13 of Standing Order 1-17 limits the appointment of a Parenting Coordinator when domestic violence issues are present. Firstly, if the only action before the court is a
G.L. c. 209A complaint, appointment of parenting coordinators is prohibited. See Section 1(d) of Standing Order 1-17. Secondly, Subsection 13 of the Standing Order prohibits the court appointment over the objection of one party “[i]f there are credible allegations or findings of domestic violence committed by one party, against a party or child or children involved in the action.”
Contact
Phone
Address
| Last updated: | October 20, 2025 |
|---|