What to look for
Look for long-lasting changes (i.e. 2+ weeks) that might be a sign that something more is going on. These can include differences in:
- Sleep or appetite - eating or sleeping more or less than typical
- Mood, irritability, or emotional reactions - feelings that seem bigger, more frequent, or more intense than typical ups and downs
- Lack of interest or pleasure - not enjoying or showing interest in things they used to like
- Fatigue or difficulty concentrating - especially if it’s consistent over a long period of time (e.g. 2+ weeks)
- Unexplained physical symptoms - like changes in weight or hair loss
- Seeing or hearing things that aren’t there to other people – hearing voices or seeing people, lights, or objects that no one us can see.
- Talking about wanting to die - even indirectly or jokingly
- If someone says they are thinking about ending their life, it’s important to ask them directly: “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?”
- If the answer is yes, do not leave them alone — call or text 988 for immediate support.
- It’s a common misconception that asking about suicide can put the idea in someone’s head. This isn’t true. Asking directly can actually open up an important conversation and help people feel seen, heard, and supported.
What to do if you’re concerned
If you notice these signs, it’s important to speak up. You don’t need to have all the answers but showing you care can make a world of difference.
Say something (see conversation starters below).
- Share what you’ve noticed gently and without judgment;
- Ask questions, let them know you care and are ready to listen;
- Remind them that help is available and they don’t have to go through this alone.
Do something.
- Offer to help them find resources or make an appointment (see Help is Available)
- Care for yourself, too – when we’re supporting someone else, we can accidentally start to focus all of our time and energy on being there for that person. It’s important to remember that our mental health is just as important. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Check in with yourself, make time for self care when you can, and reach out for help for yourself if you feel overwhelmed.
Conversation starters
If starting the conversation feels daunting, try these prompts from the Mental Health Collaborative
- Share observations: “I notice you’ve seemed really tired lately”
- Ask non-judgmental questions: “Tell me more about how you’ve been feeling”
- Validate & encourage vulnerability: “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed”
- Provide hope: “There are things we can do to help you.”
- Ask how to help & create an action plan: “What can I do to support you? Maybe our next step can be...”