What’s on your child’s mind?
As parents and caregivers, you know your child. You see their moods, nurture their interests, and watch them explore the world around them. But even though you know them better than anyone else, it’s not always easy to fully understand what they’re feeling or if they might need support.
One of the most important ways to support your child’s mental well-being is by creating space for them to talk openly about their thoughts and feelings - without judgment or fear of potential consequences.
Starting a conversation
Here are a few ways to try to engage your kid in conversations about what they might be thinking or feeling:
- Give your full attention and remove distractions;
- Ask open-ended questions (rather than yes or no questions);
- Listen without interrupting or jumping in to give advice (i.e. asking how you can be helpful or what they might need);
- Reflect back what you’re hearing to show you understand (i.e. “it sounds like you’ve been really overwhelmed” or “I’m hearing that you’ve been feeling this way for a while now”);
- Thank them for sharing and validate their feelings (i.e. “that sounds really stressful” or “I can see why you would feel this way”)
Even if your child doesn’t want to talk, knowing you are there and ready to listen can help them know they can open up if and when they’re ready.
Signs that might signal something is wrong
Children and teenagers show their emotions in diverse ways and don’t always know how to talk about what they’re feeling. If you notice a difference or feel like something might be off, trust your instincts, let them know you care about them, and check in about what you’re seeing.
Some signs that your kid might be struggling with something include lasting changes (i.e. 2+ weeks) in things like:
- Prolonged irritability, anger, sadness, or worry;
- Changes in energy or motivation;
- Changes in sleep or appetite;
- Withdrawing from friends, loved ones, or activities they used to love;
- Difficulty concentrating, completing school assignments, or completing day-to-day tasks (e.g. chores, hygiene);
- Changes in thoughts or behaviors that seem unusual for them;
- Prolonged physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches, or digestion issues.
If you notice something, it’s important to start a conversation. See conversation starters for more information.
What to do if you need extra support
You don’t need to be experiencing a crisis or have a diagnosis to find support for your child.
Talk to your doctor or insurance provider
Preventive behavioral health services are available for all MassHealth members under 21. Ask your doctor or insurance provider about getting an assessment or understanding your child’s mental health needs.
Contact the Behavioral Health Help Line (BHHL)
The free, 24/7 Behavioral Health Help Line (BHHL) connects individuals and families to the full range of treatment services for mental health and substance use offered in Massachusetts, including pediatric care options. Call or text 833-773-2445 or chat online. Deaf or heard of hearing? Contact MassRelay at 711.
Visit HandHoldMA
Visit handholdma.org for more information on navigating mental health resources in Massachusetts, additional tips, tools and ideas that have worked for other families, and stories from other families who have gone on their own mental health journeys.